That might make me sound like an extremely empty and shallow millennial but the truth is, money’s not a bad thing and you kind of need it. Since I have became financially dependent on my boyfriend our relationship has turned for worse. Being financially dependent means that if one partner loses his or her job, becomes ill, or is otherwise unable to work, the entire house of financial cards falls. I looked for work, but he managed to find fault with any place that offered me employment. I was all over it—that is until I entered into a wonderful relationship and became financially dependent. He has shown you who he is and what he is willing to do and that is nothing. I gave up my job to move to a different state to be with him. She was in a troubled family and her parents were divorced. Consequently, knowing how to identify financial ab… We’ve both cried about it together on the floor. My girlfriend claimed at the time to have done this before with a previous boyfriend. But ultimately, he's a grownass adult who needs to get his shit together. Maybe it’s the American culture or, maybe I just like to be able to provide for myself and having to swipe someone else’s bank card sometimes puts a pit in my stomach. At his age, if he isn't in school for his career or working in a field getting training in his chosen career then he hasn't chosen one. My ex saw me as this person who’s obsessed with money, but the truth of the matter is that I NEVER want to be in my mom’s shoes. We established ground rules, we all got tested for STIs, they are both on birth control so we didn’t have to worry about that and decided our night. You can claim a boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent on your federal income taxes if that person meets the Internal Revenue Service's definition of a "qualifying relative." He has money for drinking and games, but not to pay for food when he's with you. I also don't think it's super uncommon to not have a car or his own place at that age but MOST have one or the other. I think my mind has been made up. close. Skip to main content. #15 I’m financially dependent on my partner. We've been together for 4 years, living together for 2 years. They let me know it was okay to keep the money I worked hard for, even if I could afford to lend him some, because my financial boundaries were my own to choose. Tell her that you can no longer support her. It’s certainly cheaper for two people to maintain a household than it is for two people to maintain separate residences. Receiving isn’t my strong point. Community Answer. I feel that I need to overcompensate for my lack of financial prowess. My broken heart snatched away my power and freedom. Call me old-fashioned, but I believe in dating someone for several years before marriage and having something be exciting and new after vows are taken. Am I selling out to an outdated, patriarchal setup by allowing my guy to be the main bread winner in our relationship? Rebecca Lake Aug 20, 2018. Am I letting my feminist sisters down because I’m now dependent on a man’s income? I'm out because it just isn't working if you need to keep paying for everything and he isn't making an effort to have some form of employment and independence. But she does not value self-sufficiency like I do and has grown extremely dependent on me. The shame hole just gets deeper and darker. (Duh!) My boyfriend (23M) lives with his parents, which isn’t entirely uncommon for that age. Girlfriend financially dependent on me? I’ve been right where you are, it’s no cake walk. Or maybe you don't like driving him or feeding him now... so maybe if he wants to come over he needs to be able to pay for gas and food every other time he comes over. But if you’re claiming your boyfriend as a dependent on your taxes, you have to meet seven requirements. This is tricky, because you may need your partner for your financial means. Learn more about this decision. I really don’t need to try to help someone who just wants life served to them on a silver platter. But at what point is me worrying about her happiness killing my own. In fact, a study by the Centers for Financial Security found that 99 percent of domestic violence cases also involved financial abuse. I haven’t been happy for a long time and I want to leave him, but I’m afraid I’m not financially stable enough on my own. Depending on someone for money is a terrible feeling. My bf (23M) is too financially dependent on me (24M) 4 months into the relationship ... (M, 35) met my now-girlfriend (F, 30) at the start of 2020. By JoAnne C. Holt, Divorce financial analyst. But this isn't the case with men. Um he’s literally a gigantic loser please for the love of god break up with him. While there’s nothing necessarily explosive to be unsatisfied with, I’m afraid I just didn’t sign up to be supporting another grown man without anything in return. I say this all to assuming too... that with the pandemic he could possibly be facing some depression and feeling unsure about life, so if he is a cool guy otherwise... he might just need a serious sit-down talk that slaps him over the head with the realization that he needs to move forward and do something. DMCA Policy First, your significant other cannot be claimed as a dependent if they are eligible to be claimed as a dependent on another tax return. "My single mum has repeated 'never depend on a man for your wellbeing' to me and my sisters for the last 25 years. Exchanging money is what helps you feel like you’re taking an active part in creating your life the way you envision it. i am so curious, i was told that my girlfriend can now claim me as dependent and i will be obliged to support her financially if i want to move .. that freaks me out cause our relationship is now struggling, i have spent my life building my company, that must be a joke. Who am I kidding? With money comes power, and since my boyfriend earns most of the money, I feel like I need to acquiesce to his preferences since, let’s face it, he’s got more money. If she respects you, she will comply. You should help her by making her get a job. My girl friend and I have been in a committed relationship for the last two years, and she moved in with me for a year now. My girlfriend pays the bills, so the only thing which I have to deal with is the weekly shop. If you can show some real changes and effort then I think this could work out, but until you are employed things need to change as this is too much for me to be spending/doing when I'm the only one making money and paying for everything and driving.". Imagine being a grown adult still living at home with your parents. She has just entered her field in a part-time position. Luckily, there are some red flags you're too dependent on your partner that you can look out for. He got laid off from his job in May, which is understandable due to the pandemic. 4. It's only 4 months in, he's taking advantage of you my friend. Years ago I started a relationship with a guy who was intelligent, good-mannered and refined. With the IRS dependent rules, to claim your boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent, he or she could not have earned more than $4,050 during the tax year. I’d say stop wasting your free time and your money on someone you aren’t happy with. We were freshly dating, the pandemic was happening, whatever. Now, as a grown woman, it’s very strange to be financially dependent on someone else, especially when I never wanted to be dependent on even my own dad. But the thing is, I just don’t know if he’s motivated enough to even do anything about it. I’ve already gotten there with myself. He could be a lot of things. recently, my girlfriend started taking loans and asking me to help her repay. I’m a capitalist at heart. We’ve both cried about it together on the floor. I liked him a lot, and the drive was worth it if it meant we got to hang out. My girlfriend knows that I don’t want to live with someone until I’m married or very near to it. But this arrangement has taught me about my own money issues, and maybe more importantly, it’s taught me about my own struggles with self-worth. Still, I do struggle with this. And all those lovely expenses like rent, groceries, phone and hospital bills? My concept of identity is tightly intertwined with money. who still are overly dependent on their parents. He is the rock and the support system, financially … It’s also true that before I left my job, my husband was financially dependent on me and my income. My girlfriend and I live together the entire year. Also why was I with someone for so long that wouldn’t get a job?! Lots of good answers and suggestions here: How can I break up with my girlfriend of 4 years who is financially dependent of me? Now, I see that maybe I’ve been super prideful and arrogant when it comes to money. I have to cook perfect dinners every single night. A chronic, financially dependent spouse is not created in a vacuum without your participation! I’m starting to have regrets about our relationship. Let him know you're not comfortable with his financial dependency on you, that in seems like he isn't motivated for anything but games and that it makes you second guess the relationship. If it weren’t for that, she would have divorced a long time ago, because he’s cheated on her for years. A couple friends told me this was wrong because it's a guy's job to cover his dates. So here's the scoop, we're 24 and have been together over 3 years. That is where my thoughts/advice is going to come from then. That way, I didn’t have to stick my hand out and get help from other people. 4. - Answered by a verified Tax Professional. Community Answer. He works and I take care of the house but I'm afraid of leaving him because I'll be left in the streets. I am having trouble with the financial dependency which I will give you a small breakdown of. When men make more than 70 percent of the household income, they again become more likely to cheat. Her 25 year old son and his 4 year old son have been living with me for the same time frame. I'm a young professional. Audrey Bea uses her life-changing but difficult experiences with anorexia and depression as the catalyst and inspiration for her work. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. However, my ex girl and I were really close, and I’ve been there for here each time, bailing her out financially. My boyfriend is financially dependent on me, did I make the right choice? Tell her that you can no longer support her. As annoying as this all is, I'm sure these things wouldn't be such a problem if he was making an effort to improve his situation. Neither of us was particularly looking for a relationship, but I guess sometimes you just can't ignore what's staring you in the face. (along with a few not-so-good ones). You can claim a boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent on your federal income taxes if that person meets the Internal Revenue Service's definition of a "qualifying relative." It’s not that I’ve ever dreamed of being wealthy—having enough to enjoy simple pleasures was always enough for me. Also, my girlfriend receives government benefits (food stamps), but does not include my income...will claiming the children as my dependents affect her benefits going forward? The list goes on and on. My ex is in really deep financial problems, which I wudn’t mind helping. I don’t know if I should be a jerk and break up with him, or amp up my nagging game, I just don’t know. With the IRS dependent rules, to claim your boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent, he or she could not have earned more than $4,050 during the tax year. Now, as a grown woman, it’s very strange to be financially dependent on someone else, especially when I never wanted to be dependent on even my own dad. It was by design and not at all by accident. A chronic, financially dependent spouse is not created in a vacuum without your participation! If she’s financially dependent on you now, and she’s not actively working on getting herself together, she’ll always be financially dependent … When you think of domestic abuse, most likely the first thing that comes to mind is verbal abuse and physical assault. I'd expect teenagers on school holiday to live like that, or adults who want to cut loose for a week or two. I have a mortgage payment and child suppoort. Get Smart About Money! I work hard, so should you!” What I never realized is that these people who received financial help actually needed it. He stays up until 4 or 5 in the morning playing video games or drinking with friends and sleeps until the same time the next afternoon. Ultimately, the woman in this relationship is dependent upon her partner for her survival. Don't get tripped up by the word "relative" here—according to the IRS, it can include an unrelated person … I am currently in a sales job making decent money supporting my boyfriend. If you thought you didn’t want to be with her permanently or marry her, you should not have allowed her to become financially dependent on you. My boyfriend is always broke! He already has his mom nagging him to get a job and he still hasn't made any effort. She does not pay any of the bills, her name is not on any of the important paperwork, and she also does not do any of the chores necessary to have a somewhat clean house. Everyone in his life has been encouraging him to get another job. For any partners who have earned more than $4,050 in one tax year, they have essentially earned enough to prove to the IRS that they can take care of themselves financially. Criteria for Claiming Your Boyfriend on Your Taxes. I was financially dependent on mine. He could just be down on his luck. She's super dependent on me and at times she seems clingy. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Our situation is not making the process of a break up easy. I listen to her each time she has a problem. Not earning as much money makes me feel like I have less say in the relationship. I used to think that it must be so easy to sit back and let other people pay your way but, to be honest, it’s really difficult. Stop Enabling Your Overly Dependent Adult Child ... You start to explain that you have financial pressures too and he immediately says, "Fine, don't worry about me… Depending on her earning power, with the birth of each child, the cost of childcare makes it impossible to return to work. Talk about a disaster. At first, I didn’t mind picking him up and taking him back to my place (he lives in another town 30 mins away) to stay for a few days, get dropped off back home, then repeat sometime the next week. If you want to claim your boyfriend on your taxes, all of these must be true: You can’t be someone else’s dependent, even if they don’t claim you as a dependent. But, there is a happy ending. We use cookies to give you the best possible experience on our website. Ok. Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. The bottom line is - I’m just tired of having to drive my bf around, pay for my bf’s food, basically try to guide him in the right steps of Responsibility. Then I would sit down with him and have a convo (no nagging, just a sit-down planned conversation). I’m a capitalist at heart. 2017 will be the1st year that he is a beneficiary of my health benefits. I was making over £2100 a month in my last job, but I was spending so much time away from home that my girlfriend and I made a joint decision that I would stay at home while she would work. She’s financially dependent on my dad and hates it. The fact that he has no interest in life beyond gaming all night and sleeping all day is really unattractive. It's totally fine to say, "Hey, this has been fun, but I want to be in a relationship with someone who is more on my wavelength as far as lifestyle is concerned. Can I allow my girlfriend to claim my son on her taxes? I didn't believe in upholding that gender role. However, they won't always be … I’m being sort of tongue-in-cheek with this because I actually think there’s a lot wrong with capitalism and consumerism. I’ve worked ever since I was 16, I paid my way through college and graduate school, I bought every car I’ve ever owned. Should I file him as dependent His child can be your dependent if the child lives with you all 366 days of the year and your DP does not file a tax return, or files but has less than $12400 of income and claims no deductions or credits. Every time you go out, you've got to ask them for a couple bucks to buy a loaf of bread or … I have to text her all day and respond quickly or she's upset. However, they won't always be entirely easy to spot. I’m not talking about instant gratification here. I cringe to think of the money and time she would throw away if I were to give up on us. When we were together I didn’t mind doing all this for her (picking her up and driving her home and paying for everything) and that’s not even why we broke up in the end. It’s been almost 4 months and he hasn’t changed anything at all. Everyone needs to find their footing. The answer is yes, you can claim a significant other. If yes, can I claim both the the son and grandson, or just the grandson? At some point, parents have to decide when to permanently close the Bank of Mom and Dad and allow adult children to stand on their own two feet. My boyfriend is always broke! If your adult child is depending on your money to finance his or her lifestyle, Wiley says to take the discussion a step further. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Then I would hit him with basically what you said in your post, "hey this is getting to be too much, and I was understanding, but it's now 2021 and you don't seem motivated to become employed. recently, my girlfriend started taking loans and asking me to help her repay. Now I'm 34 and she's 21, so there is some age difference. In short, tell him to get his shit together or get out of fuck town, he sounds lazy and too relaxed. My first attempts at getting advice confused me more. But it’s also unethical because you’re using your partner for your own selfish means. Best wishes for the future.". Are you willing to shoulder all the burden all the time when difficult situations arise? 7. I’m afraid I’ll end up in a stereotypical sexist relationship. Send me an e-mail or visit my website holtcpafirm.com.. I’m sounding off in this article so men listen up! Tips for Dealing With Financially Dependent Parents. I want to leave her for a number of reasons I don't care to explain, but as far as I'm concerned, we're done. My girl friend and I have been in a committed relationship for the last two years, and she moved in with me for a year now. By JoAnne C. Holt, Divorce financial analyst. If you love your spouse, you'd make him or her financially independent. I have to dress well. I do not agree with the man who has answered this in great detail but without copmassion. Still, there’s something truly satisfying about saving up and treating yourself to something special. I’m a capitalist at heart. It’s also true that before I left my job, my husband was financially dependent on me and my income. But if you’re claiming your boyfriend as a dependent on your taxes, you have to meet seven requirements. You are just gonna regret wasting your life on him. And if I fail at these things? We see each other every Saturday, but … However there is a problem. 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