Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that this world plagued by pain and disease, deliberate meanness and selfishness, is not God’s original perfect creation. What it refers to is the ultimate penalty for our sin — death. Thank you very much for this post it was very helpful. Ephesians 6:10-18 speaks of putting on the armor of God to stand against Satan. Click here to learn more of how information about your visit to this site is tracked and used. Karine, I’m glad you found the article helpful. What started out as a Three-Personed holy hug of the Father, Son and Spirit loving each other while still remaining one God, will be a hugely enlarged circle of love that includes millions, possibly billions of people God made in His image, marked “Mine,” and drew into the divine circle to love and be loved forever. I appreciate your affirmation and your prayers. Please don’t beat yourself up for how you feel about this. She has been hurting me a lot. You explained why we should forgive, but not actually how to do this? Don’t suppress them, but at the same time, there’s no need to react to or express your emotions. 21:5). While the purpose of this blog is to help you grow and heal, it also is a for-profit business. :-) ). Please don’t be fooled, when an addiction is in play (and this sounds very much like an addiction), more than words are needed. He has sexually given himself over to other women. God allows pain and suffering and evil because He has a plan, and He’s working His plan. It can break down at any point along the way. Because you still feel the pain of the hurt, you may wonder if you’ve fully forgiven. Maybe the question is: Does God want you to have people in your life that break you off? Any commissions I receive will help offset the costs. If you are around people for very long, you will end up hurt by someone. I feel like it is some type of addiction as well. Believe it or not, there are ways to deal with people who have hurt you. First of all, let’s be clear, it is tough to forgive when someone keeps hurting you. I don’t know if that makes any sense really, but that is what it feels like to me. Sue Bohlin is a speaker/writer and webmistress for Probe Ministries, a Christian organization that helps people to think biblically. Forgiveness happens in your heart and is lived out by not having spite toward the other person. The Bible says that some people who said they loved God made “him feel hurt.” Yes, “they pained” God! I hurt so bad that I want to end my marriage. My cousin’s wedding got fixed with this girl only so I tried to interact with her in a good way. Perhaps, he’s called you to stay put in a place you don’t want to. FYI - Any links I provide to products or services are for those I personally have used or approve. But I don’t get good vibes from her. In order for us to choose to return His love, we needed to be free to choose NOT to love Him. (If you haven’t already, see if these two articles could be of help: “5 Keys to Assertiveness” and “What are Healthy Boundaries? Because He knew the end result was worth it. When we choose to pray for the person, we start to see them how God sees them and allows us to begin healing. How to Not Turn Out Like Your Parents: Pitfalls to Avoid, Why Journaling Is Important for Emotional Health, How to Forgive Someone Who Keeps Hurting You, https://net.bible.org/#!bible/Hebrews+8:6, https://www.arenewedlife.com/4-signs-youve-really-forgiven-and-how-to-get-there/, https://www.arenewedlife.com/5-keys-to-assertiveness/, https://www.arenewedlife.com/2-reasons-you-cant-keep-healthy-boundaries/, 4 Signs You've Really Forgiven (and How to Get There) - A Renewed Life, Letting Go of the Pain of Your Child's Life - A Renewed Life, When Anger Overwhelms You – praiseworthywoman.com, Become More Like Jesus But Avoid This Huge Mistake - A Renewed Life. Tawnya Kordenbrock is a licensed professional clinical counselor and an online coach. 1:4-5) and creating a Bride for His eternal Son (Rev. Says he has never talked to her. (See Hebrews 12:6 – 10, 2 Samuel 12:9-13, Numbers 14, and especially Psalm 99:8). If it were, God would indeed be a horrible monster. I don’t know how to forgive these people, or how to not feel vengeful or hope that something terrible happens to them or to one of their loved ones so that they finally “get” it. He knew that every human being would be born with a compulsion to reject Him, to live disconnected from Him, independent from Him—something like spiritual HIV+, insuring a death sentence. Before we continue to discuss candy – none of. "Blessed be the . You also could be believing a second myth, that it means you have to stay in relationship with this person without the other person changing their treatment of you. We’ll look at this in my next post. He could stop it all with a single word. I’m not sure how to forgive and move on. 2. To say a little more on this, from my studies, my understanding on this is that God has chosen to not keep our sins before him but has chosen to cover them with the blood of Christ. When people say no to God, they not only cut themselves off from relationship with Him, they open the door to all kinds of evil. You can follow Sue on Twitter @suebohlin. I am glad to report that both my pain and weakness have eased as the week as unfolded. God uses suffering to cleanse us, to mature us, to burn up shallowness. You’re sick, you’re dying, you’ve been deserted, you’ve lost a child, you’re innocent but accused of wrongdoing — and they try to shush you. And if Satan can get us to doubt God’s goodness, we stand on the edge of a life that uses our anger to justify sin.. Fathers, Feelings, and Faith. Actually, God does say for us to forgive just as he has forgiven us. I am beyond hurt, just discovered this last week. He knew that Adam would rebel, that His perfect creation would crash and burn in the Fall, and that everything would be infected and corrupted by sin. God hates sin, including the mistreatment of those he loves, and gets very angry. At some point Father God decided to create mankind and draw us into His circle of love, adopting us as sons (Eph. He took our sin into Himself, actually becoming our sin (2 Cor. What the first Adam messed up, Jesus the Second Adam corrected. The New English Translation (NET), which strives to be very literal in it’s translation, quotes Jeremiah as saying: “For I will forgive their sin and will no longer call to mind the wrong they have done.”. She is happily married to Dr. Ray Bohlin, writer and speaker on faith and science with Probe Ministries, and they have two grown sons. The point, though, for this article is that God does not call us to ignore the consequences of someone’s sin because we have forgiven. While it’s tough to imagine, you can have a clear heart and also enforce healthy boundaries. […], […] How to Forgive Someone Who Keeps Hurting You […]. Anger at sin committed against you can also strengthen you to finally stick to healthy boundaries that convey your worth in this relationship. The penalty of death has been removed from those who have repented and given their lives over to life according to God’s kingdom. Even God allows consequences, as evidenced by the verses in the article. Another reason God might allow Satan or his demons to attack is to build our maturity. “It means you will once again have to check your heart to make sure the emotional debt owed you is ultimately settled with that person by God.”. and I discovered that it absolutely was! Relationships are tough, aren’t they? 5:21), so that when He died, our sin died with Him. I feel like we may need counseling but I can’t find any Christian counselors in our area that aren’t attached to a specific church. We certainly don’t know why God allows people to suffer, and no, I’m definitely not blaming it … Second point of light: evil was not created or caused by God The Bible is clear: God is not the author of evil. I appreciate the opportunity to get this cleared up, because I know good Christians, especially women, struggle to stand up for themselves because they believe the right thing to do is to forget offenses. Oh HurtAgain, I can hear your pain! Perhaps that starts with what you define as forgiveness. It doesn’t mean, however, that you accept bad treatment. It could be that she does not totally understand how or why her actions are negatively impacting you. But then they got back again. But God knew that all of human history would unfold between the bookends of the creation of mankind and the Marriage Feast of the Lamb. How to Handle the Things You Hate But Can't Change, Teaching Teens about Rape Culture and Modesty, 3 Life Hacks That Will Revolutionize Your Relationships, The believers’ eternal blessings in union with the Son. At that point I believe we will agree, as we look back on evil, pain and suffering on earth, that it was so, so worth it. I think if you’re having a bad day, and the internet might trigger you, it would be good self-care to not get on the internet that day. Also, thanks so much for your question. When all there was, was God: Father, Son and Spirit, engaged in a three-Personed “holy hug” that had no beginning and has no end. Answer is NO. And, holding hostility toward the other person serves as a support for that fortified wall. If you are having thoughts of escaping by ending your life, immediately call a mental health professional, a crisis hotline (U.S. #1-800-273-8255), or 911. He allows trials and suffering to occur in our lives for one purpose only—because it’s sometimes through the difficulties and the pain that He can take and shape us into the best we can be. How can you forgive your mother-in-law when she continues to overstep boundaries and say offensive statements? He knew Adam would open the door to all kinds of evil and suffering, and He allowed Adam to do it anyway. Instead, the Son left heaven, wrapped Himself in human flesh, and came to earth where He lived a perfect, sinless life. She dint like few things and tried to hurt me emotionally later. . Because you still feel the pain of the hurt, you may wonder if … How would Hebrews 8:12 fit into the section “What About Forgiving and Forgetting? Disclosure: I am writing this while beset by the most physical pain I’ve experienced since post-polio syndrome started attacking my body with the “unholy trinity” of pain, weakness and fatigue. 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